Alin's parents are here for the weekend and after supper we started the usual bedtime routines... Bath, teeth,comb hair and then the grand finale of milk, soothers, snuggles, books and if dads involved usually some iPhone watching. Daniela has been a Grampa fan tonight and when I went to put her to sleep she didn't want me she wanted Grampa. My feelings were hurt, why didn't my little hurricane want me to put her to sleep. Fast forward an hour kids are sleeping (thanks to dad and Grampa) were sitting in the living room and Alin comes out looking exhausted, sits on the couch and puts his head back. My father in law says "Angel it's hard work being the dad isn't it" my first feeling was one of defeat as I thought what about me? its not easy being the mom, being a dad is easier, you get to have adult conversation during the day, your not home for all the nitty gritty stuff. Everyone's excited to see you, kids run up to you when you come home from work, and I think it's just funner being the treat giver, soother supplier, milk maid, cookie courier, tickler and then I had to STOP myself from feeling discouraged, unappreciated and I guess jealous, and to my mind came a talk I'd heard years ago by Jeffrey R Holland about the prodigal son but with a twist, talking about the brother. So tonight at bed I looked up that talk and here are a few parts...
The Other Prodigal
JEFFREY R. HOLLAND
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Conference April 2002?
No one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all.
Certainly this younger brother had been a prisoner—a prisoner of sin, stupidity, and a pigsty. But the older brother lives in some confinement, too. He has, as yet, been unable to break out of the prison of himself. He is haunted by the green-eyed monster of jealousy. 2 He feels taken for granted by his father and disenfranchised by his brother, when neither is the case. He has fallen victim to a fictional affront. As such he is like Tantalus of Greek mythology—he is up to his chin in water, but he remains thirsty nevertheless. One who has heretofore presumably been very happy with his life and content with his good fortune suddenly feels very unhappy simply because another has had some good fortune as well.
Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us?
It has been said that envy is the one sin to which no one readily confesses, but just how widespread that tendency can be is suggested in the old Danish proverb, “If envy were a fever, all the world would be ill.” The parson in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales laments it because it is so far-reaching—it can resent anything, including any virtue and talent, and it can be offended by everything, including every goodness and joy. 5 As others seem to grow larger in our sight, we think we must therefore be smaller. So, unfortunately, we occasionally act that way.
How does this happen, especially when we wish so much that it would not? I think one of the reasons is that every day we see allurements of one kind or another that tell us what we have is not enough. Someone or something is forever telling us we need to be more handsome or more wealthy, more applauded or more admired than we see ourselves as being. We are told we haven’t collected enough possessions or gone to enough fun places. We are bombarded with the message that on the world’s scale of things we have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.
But God does not work this way. The father in this story does not tantalize his children. He does not mercilessly measure them against their neighbors. He doesn’t even compare them with each other. His gestures of compassion toward one do not require a withdrawal or denial of love for the other. He is divinely generous to both of these sons. Toward both of his children he extends charity. I believe God is with us the way my precious wife, Pat, is with my singing. She is a gifted musician, something of a musical genius, but I couldn’t capture a musical note with Velcro. And yet I know she loves me in a very special way when I try to sing. I know that because I can see it in her eyes. They are the eyes of love.
One observer has written: “In a world that constantly compares people, ranking them as more or less intelligent, more or less attractive, more or less successful, it is not easy to really believe in a [divine] love that does not do the same. When I hear someone praised,” he says, “it is hard not to think of myself as less praiseworthy; when I read about the goodness and kindness of other people, it is hard not to wonder whether I myself am as good and kind as they; and when I see trophies, rewards, and prizes being handed out to special people, I cannot avoid asking myself why that didn’t happen to me.” 8 If left unresisted, we can see how this inclination so embellished by the world will ultimately bring a resentful, demeaning view of God and a terribly destructive view of ourselves. Most “thou shalt not” commandments are meant to keep us from hurting others, but I am convinced the commandment not to covet is meant to keep us from hurting ourselves.
...we can count our many blessings and we can applaud the accomplishments of others... All are privileged, the one like unto the other. Walk peacefully. Walk confidently. Walk without fear and without envy. Be reassured of Heavenly Father’s abundance to you always.
As we do this, we can help others, calling down blessings on them even as they make supplication for us. We can cheer every talent and ability, wherever it is bestowed, thus making life here more nearly what it will be like in heaven. Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, 14 “robes … made … white in the blood of the Lamb.” 15 May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I remembered this talk and so glad it was bought to mind this weekend, I'm thankful for my "premium romanian" and all he does for our little family, how hard he works, how smart he is, how loving and involved he is with our children, how kind and loving he is towards me, his sense of humour and pray that the day we are sealed together as a family isn't far off I want this FOREVER.
Goal for this week is to live this talk, to be supportive and encouraging when others succeed (that's the part I find easy) then to not feel less important as a wife and stay at home mom. This is what I wanted and soon I will be wishing for these days back with all their craziness that our 3 love bugs provide
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