Leaky eyes

I was never much of a cryer by nature. Definitely not for books, movies, relationships (okay maybe the first time I saw E.T) just shake things off and head for the shower or sleep (sleep was my number one choice) and then I became a mother....

Must be part of the birthing plan
1. Prep you
2. Have baby
3. Make sure tear ducts will never be dry again

I have never felt so much emotion in my life and it can change from one minute to the next. From having to tears of worry to tears of frustration to tears of joy and contentment, I've decided that anyone that has dry eye problems should become a mom. Case in point, today I had a date with Miss Daniela (we were going to a little birthday party) and Mason and Abbie stayed home with Alin. So I nursed Abbie before we left and hopped in the truck with Miss D, it has been snowing all night and was still snowing this morning the roads were awful and it was approximately 21 km away(thanks GPS) as I was driving I was praying that nothing would happen to my little hurricane in the back seat as she fell asleep and looked so angelic. I worried about being in a car accident the whole way. Praying that nothing would ever happen to her. Then as we're at the party I start worrying about Abbie (is she hungry, does she need me) Then Mason and Alin are on my mind. I'm convinced that i will never live another carefree day in my life. Which is a change for this girl that flew by the seat of my pants on adventures that took me this way and that. Aww how i've had to apologize to my parents a million times for the crazy things of my youth. Who knew this gig would need me to invest in waterproof mascara.

Blessings and heartache

When you kids reach 18 months plus a day subconsciously I breathe a little sigh of relief (that means I'm still holding my breath for you Abbie) there's so many things I worry about when your first born some very real things and then some un rational things. I worry that I won't be able to go on without any of you, you'll understand this love when you have kids of your own... For the record I feel the same way about your dad. But babies are just born and you love them instantly, Spouses are a little more work:)

My little sister died when she was 18 months old to the day, she was born in May and passed away the following Nov. I remember random things about it, I remember my parents telling us and with the faith of a child thinking " Oh she went to live with Heavenly Father" and remembering my mom and dad crying a lot, lots of people coming by our house, and at the funeral I remember the primary singing. Every once and a while growing up I would look at a big binder ( I can't remember if it was blue or grey) and read all the cards and condolences and then look at all her pictures. I generally did this all alone and I would think about her quite a bit. Wondering if she would think that I was doing okay with this life I was living or if she would think that she had to leave early and here I was wasting my life. Some things I'm sure made her proud to be sisters other things I'm pretty sure she shook her head and thinking Shannon get it together. When things were a little rough sometimes I would stop at the cemetery and go see her grave (its white with a little lamb) A few times growing up I'd ask about her but we never really talked about it that much...

I have taken you kids to the hospital and to dr.'s only to be told that it was just a common cold or something you would get over. The worst was one night when Mason was baby it was around three in the morning I think and I decided I needed to take him to the hospital he had a fever that had lasted over 3 days and just wasn't his usual self but as I headed out, there was freezing rain and they were telling people to stay off the roads. It was treacherous to say the least and when I finally made my way into the hospital the nurse looked at me and tore a strip off me saying I had no business being on the roads in this condition and I was putting my baby and me in jeopardy. That was the last straw I was already so worried about my little baby, worried about the roads and tired, I started to bawl and spilling my heart out saying " I had a sister who passed away and I want to make sure my babies okay" ( it turned out he had a massive ear infection)

I think about my parents daily most of the time it's happy memories and things that make me laugh or smile (we had so much fun growing up) but when I have sick kids or your dad is sick I worry.

My gift this year was some more of her journal pages (I love this gift and cherish it, you can read it when your older and it has definitely inspired me to keep mine better. So when your moms and dads you can read it and take comfort in it, also seeing the good, bad and ugly:) plus the love we have for you.

Anyways the pages this time covered when Michelle passed away. I had tears streaming down my face reading my moms entry ( I'll share a bit here, but will let you read it when your older in the special binder) especially because my little tornado(that's you Daniela) is the same age right now as Michelle was. I can't imagine. I look at your blond, curly hair most days it's all over the place and your chubby hands, cheeks and fingers and that impish grin which means your up to no good. How you wait for me to look at you when your doing something mischievous and when I look, you take off running and giggling. How you exhaust me at the same time that I love all that energy and personality. How you can't handle having socks on, anywhere and anytime and when I put tights on you for church how it's almost unbearable for you.... You pull and pull with no results:). The way you want to do everything Mason does and how you love Abbie to pieces
and can't stand to be away from her.(I'm sure she's not going to walk as soon as you and Mason, because I can never leave her on the floor for more than 2 min without being loved to pieces

Nov 1980

Thursday November 13, came home after class at the university and went to pick up the girls at the arena after figure skating.  Brian had Renee and Michelle since he had come home about 1 pm.  We were going to the temple with Roberts and Kathleen was going to babysit in the evening.  

Brian said Michelle had "thrown up" in the van and he went to clean it up.  She had eaten a fair sized chunk of cheese in the afternoon- just after 5 she threw up a bit more - cheese. I bathed her - the girls were having a bath because they were cold after figure skating so I stuck her in the tub with them - changed her and out her to bed.  Just before 6:30 she brought up abut more - fluidly, phlegmatic - this time I decided to stay home with her and Brian went alone to the temple with Roberts.

About 9 she woke up and I held her on my lap with her head in my shoulder while I read- she was a bit warm-a bit of a temperature so before putting her back to bed I gave her 2 baby aspirin and half a bottle of water. She drank that and went to sleep.

When I went to bed I took her to bed with me and we both went to sleep.  Brian came in about 10:30-10:45 along with Poettckers and we talked til near midnight.

When we went to bed, we put Michelle in her crib and we were standing looking down at her, Brian at the side of the crib and me at the end. It was one of those"I'm going to remember this moment" close family feelings.  Michelle looked back at us-but didn't smile- she just looked at us. (Brian thought she had been breathing "funny" but I didn't think much of it as babies breathe faster than adults anyway.

About 6 am Brian went in to check on her.  He came tearing into the bedroom, into his clothes, "there's something wrong with that baby! He handed her to me,  I phoned the hospital and he put on his boots she had blue splotches on her and her eyes were only looking to the side she wasn't moving them around. He grabbed her, put a blanket over her and run out to the van. He was in such a desperate hurry I was afraid he would have an accident. I got into my clothes, knelt down in prayer then got into my van and hurried to the hospital after him. Michelle was in the emergency room and they're giving her oxygen. Dr. David came in and they sent us out to the waiting room. Stan Stewart came over but they never got to administer to her. Dr. David came out and said, "I'm sorry."I couldn't believe it I couldn't speak...just made pushing motions with my hands, like artificial respiration...he said they had tried everything but she had stopped breathing just as he'd arrived there.  I went into see her.  The poor little thing - she was gone.  There was nothing I could do for her.  Somehow I must have thought that if I could pick her up she'd be okay but then I knew there was no helping her.  There was nothing I could do to make it better.  There was nothing I could do. 

She was 18 months to the day.  She was born on May 14,1979 and died Nov 14 1980.  She was such a going concern.  Happy and cheerful, chubby and outside of the occasional cold, healthy.

She could go up and down the stairs -on her fanny down and have just learned to walk up the stairs standing up. I was always worried about the stairs as there were no guardrails and it's  straight cement at the bottom. (227 17th street)

She could climb out of her crib and across the space, meant to deter her, to the dresser.  She would call mom to come and get her off there. She was learning to say the blessing at the table and was just starting to fold her arms, Bow her head shutting her eyes was still beyond her and mumble on with whoever was saying the blessing.

She like to play the piano and was quite upset if she couldn't sit on the bench with me while I played O Canada for 7 AM session. She'd climb up on the bench herself at times and plunk away. She loved to dance, turn twirly's herself in time to music or be picked up and polka around the front room.

She had 8 teeth at the front, two more big ones on the side bottom and two more coming between. They were good and sharp for a nip from time to time. She's not afraid to take on Renee if things weren't going just right. She'd Snapple onto one of Renee's ponytails and both would be crying but neither letting go. She liked to get into drawers my sewing machine was number one target with thread especially all over the place and anything else she could get her hands on. Another interesting spot was my bottom drawer with jewelry in it.  She had got to stretch up enough to open doors so she could get in or out if she persevered long enough.  A couple of times she'd follow the bath, clean clothes, powder and the works with another bath completely dressed. So we start over again. The phone was another point of interest. She could climb up on our bed and make like mommy with the phone, and leave it dangling there while she went off to something else.

She'd like to get tickled and packed  around, especially packed out of her crib, her sisters were most obliging. Sometimes before I put her to bed I'd kiss and tickle her under the chin.  She'd laugh,  put her to bed then I'd do the same to Renee - Michelle would watch from the crib and laugh along with Renee

The doctor said she had cerebral meningitis...

I wonder how she's doing, an adult spirit, I can't help but wonder if she is there to give my dad strength. Sometimes I think I'd like to die and be there with her but then Shannon Trina and Renee need me here. I know I'm not a very good mother, I'm short on patience and too often busy but I do love them and Brian I love him so much I don't know what I'd do without him. I'm so glad that I married him, and that we have been sealed in the temple and our children to us. I hope and pray that we can be together again as a family in the celestial kingdom, eternal families don't just happen. I have to work diligently to that end...

My heart breaks every time I think of this for my parents, just means I'm going to work super hard to get to the same place she is.  Here's a few super cute pictures of Michelle Leanne Waldie 

  

Sunday

Today was one of those classic Canadian winter mornings. Some snow but pleasant conditions in the morning and then turns into a whiteout blizzard in the afternoon, followed by sun shining and FREEZING (when I took the garbage out tonight the wind was blowing making that horrible lonely sound I hated when i was a kid, seems I still hate it). Church was good we were even there on time...before 3 kids never late now it's a lot more work. Someone's always having a blow out or melt down right before we go out the door. Kids went to nursery, Mason is really opening up and enjoying it a lot more and plays while only checking to make sure we're there sporadically. Daniela does great generally but does have those moments when she can throw a mean dirty look ( Brent would say she got it from me as he always says Torrance throws a auntie Shannon look... I'm much nicer now:) ) Abbie and I hung out with the kids while they played, had snack time, songs and a little lesson. Alin left to come home and would come back latter to pick us up. The kids made "I am a child of God crowns which they coloured and then put on their head (at least Mason, Daniela not interested in things on her head as she'd already pulled out the elastic and ribbon I had in her hair during sacrament.). Mason was so excited to show Alin his crown when he came to pick us up, which I'm so glad he did as the weather had taken a turn for the worse. As we were trying to leave the parking lot the visibility was like zero and an older couple in the ward went to pull out and another car hit them. Felt so bad for them. So glad Alin was driving because the roads were awful and we only live about 7 min away from the church.

The power of the word "MOM"

When I was growing up and thought about how my life would turn out, I knew that whatever else happened I wanted to be a mom. Of course I was going to be a young, fun, organized mom who's kids always looked super cute, were well behaved, never like the kids I'd seen having tantrums in public places, for goodness sakes. (Skip to last Sunday when Mr M decided to have a full blown tantrum in the hall of the church) never would they pick their noses and eat it. Gross. (They have. They do however manage to look at me and say "Gross" as I rush to stop them.)

However as life turns out...I'm not a young mom, after a few engagements (that's another story kiddos) I met my premium Romanian but by that time I was older. All my friends had kids and every camping trip or outing the whole group went on I always felt a twinge of jealousy, not because I wasn't happy for them but because I was wanting little hands to come up to me and call me mom, but I also knew that even though opportunities were there, they really weren't...things were missing. I used to dread Mother's Day because in church that Sunday they would always have all the mothers stand up and then give them a plant, flowers or chocolate. All my friends and even some of the girls I used to babysit were mothers. They would give all the women these things but i always felt like a fool getting something. I will always be eternally grateful for a young women Raine Sillito (one of the beehives) in the mutual who gave me a flowering plant before sacrament and told me this is for the wonderful mother I was going to be someday. I wonder if she knows that I think of her often, and how she may of thought it was a simple gesture but for me it made the all the difference in the world. That kind deed has carried me thru many mothers days until now... When I have 6 chubby, moist (miss D, sorry hon you get that from your mom) very busy little hands that need holding and kissing.

Now it's funny how the word mom can be so heartwarming and exhausting at the same time:) I am so glad to be your mom and no matter how the days go remember that I always wanted you and love you all unconditionally.

Wonderful husband award

So my wonderful husband took the night shift and by night shift, I mean all night... I still nursed I took one for the team there;) it made such a difference to me to not have to get up with Miss Daniela.

So the morning we let poor Alin go back to bed and try and get some sleep, which is super hard when our little ones are a little rambunctious and then want to go find dad. Plus little miss Abbie was sleeping next to him, so when she woke up poor Alin's rest ends.

The kids and I went to the library program and met Cori and her kids there. It was jam packed and Dani was super clinging and not interested in leaving my lap. Mason loved the songs and activities and they both loved the stories. Then we met up with Alin at Chiqui cuts, and Mason got his haircut and Dani got her bangs cut, they looked super cute (Alin got his haircut while we were at the library too)so we have a well trimmed family. I need to get mine done I'm feeling really frumpy lately.

Came home, kids played downstairs with Alin while I held Abbie and watched. They sure have fun done there and Alin sure works up a sweat;)

Alin worked the late shift tonight so bedtime routine is always super fun

A thief... no something much more surprising

This morning while lying in bed nursing Abbie and snuggling with Daniela I heard an unusual noise coming from the kitchen. We're we being robbed, was there huge mice clanking around all the dishes...my curiosity getting the best of me I gathered up my little girl posse and headed out and what to my surprise did I find? My husband making breakfast, the table set, cut up pineapple and berries, egg omelet supreme (I like it so there's so many vegetables in it that I can't taste the eggs) all ready for us to enjoy. Now my husband is a great man don't get me wrong but breakfast is not his forte as he's not a morning person at all and it wasn't even my birthday. The funny thing about it was that last night I was thinking I think I might revolt and not get out of bed tomorrow and that wonderful husband of mine must have esp.

Then Alin and Mason had a guys outing they went to Home Depot and made a bird house that it turned out super cute I'm not sure who had more fun Alin or Mason. They went and met Dan and Evie there as well. While they were building I took the girls and we went to the library, signed out some books and then went back and picked them up. We then meet up with the rest of the McAteer clan for lunch at Boston pizza. Came home put the kids down for naps (Hooray) I can count on one hand how many times they have all been sleeping at the same time, and it lasted for about 20 min which is AWESOME. Then supper and downstairs to play(Alin) and laundry(me)and watch with Miss Abbie Dabbie:)

Good Day

Jan 10, 2013

I've been really struggling this week, I haven't felt this tired since Mason was first born it seems like all week I've been fighting exhaustion and pain. This baby making machine is paying the price for them so close together. The doctor said that my bladder has fallen a bit so regular exercises will help, if it hasn't recovered in a year they'll think about surgery and I'm still waiting for results back from my x-ray of my pelvis and my blood work. What I really need is some sleep. The most consecutive amount since Masons been born is 3 hours and I feel my body revolting now. (Since he's almost three) the sleep training thing didn't work for Alin and I and I'm kind of regretting that we didn't just let them cry because now were paying for it, but neither of us were strong enough, it breaks our hearts to hear them cry. Anyways Alin surprised me with flowers tonight it was a great surprise and I love the fact that the kids see him doing things like that for their mom. We hug and smooch in front of them too:)

Today is quite the day we got dressed to head out the door but then Abbie needed to be nursed, the doorbell rings at two different times for pkgs for the Mister (he always says its a good thing he doesn't stay home because the infomercials always suck him in) so while I was at the front door this is what my kiddos were doing

Jan 6 2013

Sundays....pre kids used to be the most relaxing day of the week, going to church maybe getting a nap in, having people over for dinner maybe some light reading. Snuggling with the Mister now it looks quite different.

Picture this... being late to church even after you've organized everything the night before, laid out clothes, filled diaper bag, shoes all ready to go by he door, last minute mishaps, breakfast dishes everywhere. I've had a 5 min rinse of in the shower (while not mentioning any names has showered, coifed and now has time to gingerly trim his nails:) we head out. Once there it's a balancing act, trying to hold Abbie while Cheerios have now become thrown all about and we are trying to corral Mason from not escaping from underneath the pew. They love the singing part and if we're super lucky we sit in front of a lady who has quite the operatic voice (that grabs Daniela's attention in a hurry) as she peers around to see. Halfway through Sacrament Mr.M sits beside me to say "squeeze,squeeze,squeeze" followed by "I wuf you". How sweet I think as I look up to listen I feel a wet gross sensation, that's right Mr.M has decided that my arm needed a good licking. I look up and see Alin watching the encounter, we laugh.

I also bear my testimony I just want Alin and the kids to know how much the gospel means to me. How thankful I am for the atonement, and the knowledge that families can be together for ever. I always tease Alin that if I stop talking to him about taking us to the temple is when he SHOULD worry. I love him so much and just want our whole little family sealed together for time and all eternity. I really have to work hard to set a good example and there are definitely days that are easier than others, but this is SO IMPORTANT to me. I love how this scriptures have guidelines to follow and that we have a prophet to guide us in these latter days. While I'm up there bearing my testimony Mason decides he would much rather I be sitting with him as he yelps momma, momma from our bench.

Mason and Daniela went to nursery and so Alin and I and Abbie all tag along. Mr M is getting better but he still wants us in there, we have been trying the "I'm going to the washroom trick" and seeing how long he lasts when were out of the room.

We get home have dinner, clean play a bit and then it's bedtime routine. Tonight my heart was full when I heard Alin singing to the kids "I am a child of god". One of those special moments among the chaos.

Do you know how much I love you?

I remember when I was expecting Mason, I was worried that I wouldn't love him enough. How would and could I love this little person with all of my heart when I was soooo sick. There were nights that I would pray "please let me die in my sleep", the next morning however I would change my mind and think okay maybe I have one more day in me. I counted every single day of that pregnancy, it was horrible. Delivery was even worse, if you can imagine that and then viola (okay maybe not that instant) this little bundle arrives that you love immensely beyond reason or measure. Through the exhaustion and soreness you always have these moments, where you will spend days just staring, holding this perfect little boy and wondering how you could ever love someone else as much as you love this little boy. (The holding and staring still happens with your 2nd and 3rd, just for shorter amounts of time. So you have to think quality not quantity) When I found out I was pregnant with our second I was so excited but also a little nervous wondering if I would love this baby as much as I loved mason. When Daniela arrived I looked down at this little bundle in my arms and my heart got bigger, it just grew to encompass another perfect little baby. The other day I took her on a little girl date and as I looked at her I couldn't believe that I ever wondered about my capacity to love her. From her golden locks and impish grin to those fast little feet ( I mean super fast) that keep me on my toes. Fast forward a few more months I'm pregnant again. This time I knew I had the capacity to love this baby. Abbie you have come into our home and brought such a sweet, peaceful and calming little personality with you. Your brother is warming up to you I'm sure he's worried that now there are two sisters to share his things with;) he's always very concerned if your crying. He usually tells me that either your hungry or have a tummy ache. Your sister never, I mean never wants to be away from you. If you even make a peep she is running to you and if your dad or I ever leave you unattended, her eyes light up and it's a race to get to you. She always wants to hold, kiss you, rub your hair. ANYTHING

I want you all to know how much I love our little, growing family. How each one of you are LOVED and how much happiness you've brought into my life (as well as gray hair, extra poundage, tiredness) and I wouldn't trade it...most days...just cracked myself up

Mom and Abbie

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here's to another great year.  Not quite as productive as the last 3 have been, since there will be no babies to welcome this year (It's funny that I'm a little sad about that) at least from this clan but feel free family, to whoop it up and bless us with more nieces and nephews.

Happy New Year tree

This year I decided we would have a little get together at our house with some other little ones.  Party started at 2 with lots of good food and little friends.  The kids played and the adults visited (as much as parents get to anymore)  I saw a neat thing on "Our best bites", I love that website but it was about decorating your tree for New Years.Of course her's had balloons filled with money and jokes and streamers hanging down it but I did ours up with what we had here and thought it was a great idea.

Mason was too interested in the noise maker to look at the camera. 

Little Miss Abbie ringing in the New Year in style. 

   We had so much fun with the kiddos and the friends that came over.  So here's to good food, good friends and to the adventures of another year. (I forgot to take a photo of everyone else before they left so here's some of the crew)

NEW YEARS OF DAYS GONE BY       

2007 Huddled under parliament for New Years Eve with hotel glasses and ginger ale

                 New Years is sure different with 3 kiddos.  

Christmas 2012

We celebrated Christmas this year with Bunicu and Bunica.  We have picked up a new tradition of the book advent and I loved doing it.  So on Christmas Eve we finished our last book, unwrapped Christmas pj's and then went to bed with anticipation of the morning.  Alin had spent several hours on the kids Christmas present, he made a train table, lined it with felt and the best part of it was that he screwed the pieces to the table so this momma wouldn't have to go to their rescue a million times a day:).  We put a sheet over top of it and then waited to see their faces. 

Bunicu and Bunica

How it really is, trying to get a picture:)

 

 

 

 

 

I made everyone shirts either  red or green letters.  So we would all have something to open Christmas Eve for are pj's and even did them in Romanian:).  I love having little traditions that were in my family growing up become traditions in the family we are raising.  We always got to open a little present Christmas Eve.  There was always lots of good food, friends stopping by and lots of laughter.  My Christmas wish is that my children grow up with the same kind of memories.

Our little family, don't they just look so stinkin cute in their Christmas pajamas, and another picture to show them off a little

Mason, Abbie and Daniela

Real life posing again:)

 

 

 

 

They honestly played with this all morning and we had a hard time tearing Mr. M away to even eat.  It was a hit!

 

No...let me tell you about my day

Jan 4, 2013 Well I hate writing such negative things in my journal but just so you know that all days are not a bowl of peaches or cherries however the saying goes.  Regardless, no kind of fruit. 

It started like every other day at 3 o'clock in the morning With Miss Daniela waking up crying mama mama, after  getting her some more milk and a couple of snuggles she eventually ends up in our bed.  Which,  surprisingly enough doesn't have my husband sleeping there, as he has now had to go soothe Mason.  Keep in mind that Abbie has been nursing every two hours.  Real morning arrives at 5:00 Which means kids are up and have no intention of going back to sleep, I hop in the shower with Miss Abbie she's totally stuffed up trying to de-congestion this little babe.  I step out of the shower only to hear Mason and Daniela going at it.  Ughhhh  I crawl back into bed wishing I could have a day off.  When pressed  my husband replies "sorry there is no days off, this is a life sentence and here comes the warden now" as we hear Daniela speed walk to our room.  I laugh, I feel recharged by comic relief.  Little did I know I should have enjoyed those few moments more. 

We head off to the doctor's appointment,  vaccines for Abbie and a check up for me, The usual getting ready disasters a blow out before you head out the door, throw up on my shoulder but those are the normal things. When you have kids of your own you'll understand.  We pull up at the doctors office it's snowing now I'm unloading Abbie when a man asked me if you need any help with that,  first and last kind comment of the day.  I say no thanks because I have 3 in there to get organized, he kindly smiles and says "WOW"  in the doctors office the kids destroy the room pulling pamphlets out, getting into the filing cabinets. Abbie screaming I'm not sure why as we haven't even seen the Dr yet.  I have to nurse her to get her calmed down only to look at the other side and be soaked to my knees, yes there's that much (lack of milk is not my problem) I now look over at Dani as she has taken her shoes and socks off again.  This goes  on all day with her, any minute we are stopped off they come (5 times already and it's not even noon) Mason has again pulled out all the pamphlets, when I'm cleaning that up he's going into the filing cabinets (keep in mind I have a little one stuck to my chest while I try and contain the other two)...utter chaos.  Abbie gets her vaccines, one in each leg as she screams and doesn't stop till we get home which doesn't happen for another hour.  The Dr looks at me and says that  I need my  flu shot and we will do it today while your here.  Yah! Then we start to discuss why I'm here needless to say that after 3 babes in 3 years my body needs some healing, which means I'm off to get some x-rays done of my pelvis area and some blood work.  I bundle everyone and screaming Abbie and head to the x-ray lab only to wait and then be told "we can't do it for you unless someones here to watch your kids",  I leave. I then head to get blood work done and the line-up is ridiculous, which on a normal day is fine but now Mr. M has started to whine, he's hungry, Dani is sitting barefooted again.
 I leave without getting it done when I hear "Are those all yours?" as they glance at a barefooted girl in the stroller, Mason hanging off my arm and Abbie screaming in her car seat.  "Yes" I answer as positively as I can.  She should and could have stopped there, but she kept going.  "There really close together" "yep, my husband and I wanted a close family " Surely not that close, I hope you're done now.  That's too many kids". Really you feel the  need to keep talking to me, and with a look of disgust as you can see I'm kind of busy.  I head out the door just in time to hear someone else say " your expecting again?". As a matter of fact no my baby is 2 months old i realize i still have a tummy so thanks for noticing.  are the comments done yet... not quite just when we've made it almost out the door another lady decides to give an already worn out, frustrated, at the brink of tears mom another bit of  advice as i now have 3 screaming, hungry upset kids. "you really need to nip those tantrums in the bud"...we get home I take them out one at a time trying to deal with the loudest  screamer first.  they have a snack i sit down to nurse again,  I look over and hear Mason say oh oh as he's writing in pen on our new leather couches. I take the pen away just in time to hear a crash, Dani has stepped up and grabbed a glass trinket and it crashes to the floor breaking into 3 pieces.  Abbie is super unhappy she's already feeling the effects of being poked and is miserable.
Alin walks in the door...quick kiss and I hurry to leave to go back to try and get my x-ray and blood work done.  Everyone needs to be fed before I go, I make tortellini no one likes it or eats it.  I leave its about 20 min drive.  When there,  the X-ray tech says this is Such an unusual request I've only done it once, finally finish and head for blood work.  She can't find a vein(she should have used my head as I feel I'm going to blow a gasket.)  Head home. 
Start to cook a super healthy meal consisting of Baked coconut chicken,strawberries,carrots mango salsa... No one likes it mason doesn't want supper, Alin says he's full (standard answer when he doesn't like things) and the last straw which had tears of frustration fall was our miss d who eats anything refused to eat.  There's more but I think I've vented enough, I'd like a redo as I've demolished all my New Years resolutions today.  So goodnight from this tired, frumpy, frazzled, still looking pregnant,  gray haired momma. PS it's only 5 so my goodnight wont be for a while, maybe ill have another New Years countdown and start this year again;)