Today was a tough day at church. I felt like I was going to burst into tears at any moment. I've been feeling inadequate in the wife/mom department and it's been making me snappy, crabby and discouraged. I feel like my kids are suffering and of course Alin and me. Alin took the girls to nursery and I took Mason to primary. The girls stayed the whole time and were rock stars. So I was able to go to Relief Society and what was the lesson on...
Bringing up children in truth and light. Honestly I wanted to jump up and yell doesn't anyone else here feel frustrated, inadequate, overwhelmed and wondering if they're doing a good job. I could feel the emotion mount and felt like tears were going to escape. My head was pounding. It's something I struggle with, I need to be more patient with the kids, Alin and myself. I yearn and ache to be sealed in the temple with Alin and as a eternal family. Lately I've been asking Alin what his plan is and it becomes such an evasive conversation, he has said that he would be baptized but I really hope and pray that he does it soon so that he can baptize Mason. He is a great man, and I love him beyond measure and really want us to be leading and guiding our little family the best we can. There are so many things I worry about with our children and the choices that will be presented to them. My prayer for them and my responsibility to them is to teach them, set an example and give them the tools that they will feel confident and sure enough in themselves to not be swayed with the crowd. That they will always know of my love for them and Alin and that they are good, kind, caring, compassionate and the best versions of themselves. That they understand and reach for their divine potential and never sell themselves short. A few points from the lesson that hit home and hard were
"Joseph Fielding Smith also spoke lovingly of his mother, Julina L.
Smith, and her teachings. He said: “I was trained at my mother’s knee to
love the Prophet Joseph Smith and to love my Redeemer. … I am grateful
for the training that I received and I tried to follow the counsel that
was given to me by my father. But I must not give him all the credit. I
think a good part of it, a very great part of it, should go to my mother
whose knee I used to sit by as a little child and listen to her stories
about the pioneers. … She used to teach me and put in my hands, when I
was old enough to read, things that I could understand. She taught me to
pray [and] to be true and faithful
to my covenants and obligations, to attend to my duties as a deacon and
as a teacher … and later as a priest. … I had a mother who saw to it
that I did read, and I loved to read.”
The importance of family unity—love and consideration for one another in the family, cannot be overemphasized.
There
are many great and real dangers to be reckoned with, and those which
concern us more than all others combined have to do with our children.
The only real protection or adequate defense can be afforded by the home
and its influences.
Our
children will have to be taught to discern between good and evil,
otherwise in many respects they will not be able to understand why they
are not permitted to indulge in practices that are common with their
neighbors. Unless they are instructed in the doctrines of the Church,
they will not, perhaps, understand why there is any harm in the Sunday
concert, a Sunday theater, picture show, ball game, or something of that
kind, when their playmates, without restraint and with encouragement,
indulge in these things forbidden of the Lord on his holy day. The
parents are responsible for the proper teaching of their children, [and]
the Lord will condemn the parents if their children grow up outside of
the influence of the principles of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The
Lord has commanded us, one and all, to bring our children up in light
and truth. Where this spirit exists, disharmony, disobedience, and
neglect of sacred duties will not, cannot, succeed.
Parents will be responsible for the actions of their children, if they
have failed to teach their children by example and by precept.
Individual,
personal testimony is and always will be the strength of The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A testimony is best nurtured in the
family setting. … The gaining and the keeping of testimonies should be a
family project. Do not neglect anything that will help to strengthen
the testimony of any member of your family.
We
must shelter [children] from the sins and evils of the world as much as
we can so they will not be led away from paths of truth and
righteousness.
Help
your children in every way you can to grow up with a knowledge of the
gospel of Jesus Christ. Teach them to pray. Teach them to observe the word of wisdom,
to walk faithfully and humbly before the Lord so that when they grow up
to manhood and womanhood they can thank you for what you have done for
them and look back over their lives with grateful hearts and with love
for their parents for the manner in which those parents cared for them
and trained them in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
We
ask parents to set an example of righteousness in their own lives and
to gather their children around them and teach them the gospel, in their
home evenings and at other times.
Parents
must try to be, or at least put forth their best efforts to be, what
they wish the children to be. It is impossible for you to be an example
of what you are not.
You
are to teach by example as well as precept. You are to kneel with your
children in prayer. You are to teach them, in all humility, of the
mission of our Savior, Jesus Christ. You have to show them the way, and
the father who shows his son the way will not say to him: “Son, go to
Sunday School, or go to Mutual, or go to the priesthood meeting,” but he
will say: “Come and go with me.” He will teach by example.
No
person can begin too early to serve the Lord. … Young people follow the
teaching of their parents. The child who is taught in righteousness
from birth will most likely follow righteousness always. Good habits are
easily formed and easily followed.
There
should be prayer and faith and love and obedience to God in the home.
It is the duty of parents to teach their children these saving
principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, so that they will know why
they are to be baptized and that they may be impressed in their hearts
with a desire to continue to keep the commandments of God after they are
baptized, that they may come back into his presence. Do you, my good
brethren and sisters, want your families, your children; do you want to
be sealed to your fathers and to your mothers before you, do you want to
have this family unit perfect when you, if you are permitted, shall
enter the celestial kingdom of God? If so, then you must begin by
teaching at the cradle-side.
What
is a home without the spirit of prayer? It is not a Latter-day Saint
home. We should pray; we ought not to let a morning pass without
thanking the Lord on our knees in the family circle, thanking Him for
His blessings and asking for His guidance. We should not let the night
pass away, should not retire until we have assembled the members of that
family again and thanked the Lord for His protection, and asked for His
guidance every day of our lives. I
hope that you are teaching your children in your homes to pray. I hope
that you are having family prayers, morning and evening, that your
children are taught by example and by precept to observe the
commandments that are so precious and so sacred and mean so much to our
salvation in the kingdom of God. There is not a home in any part of the world where the Bible should not be found. There is not a home in which the Book of Mormon should not be found. I am speaking of Latter-day Saint homes. There is no home where the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price should not be. Don’t keep them on the shelves
or in the cupboard, but opened where they can easily be reached, that
the members of the family might find access to them and sit down and
read and study the principles of the gospel for themselves. Children
who grow up in homes where they have participated in family home
evenings, where love and unity abound, build solid foundations for sound
citizenship and for active Church participation. There is no greater
legacy that parents can leave to their children than the memory and
blessings of a happy, unified, and loving home. Well-planned
family home evenings can be a source of long-lasting joy and influence.
These evenings are times for group activity, for organizing, for the
expressions of love, for the bearing of testimony, for learning gospel
principles, for family fun and recreation, and of all things, for family
unity and solidarity. Fathers
and mothers who faithfully hold family home evenings and who build
family unity in every way possible, fulfill with honor the greatest of
all responsibilities—that of parenthood. Fathers
can provide no greater leadership in the kingdom of God than to lead
their families in holding family home evenings. When such experiences
are a part of home life there builds up a unity and family respect which
influence each person toward increased righteousness and happiness.
Parents who ignore the great help of this program [family home evening] are gambling with the future of their children. You
should teach your children virtue, chastity, and they should be taught
from their early childhood. And they should be made aware of the
pitfalls and the dangers that are so prevalent throughout the world. We
have great concern for the spiritual and moral welfare of all youth
everywhere. Morality, chastity, virtue, freedom from sin—these are and
must be basic to our way of life, if we are to realize its full purpose.
We plead
with fathers and mothers to teach personal purity by precept and example
and to counsel with their children in all such things. …We
have confidence in the young and rising generation in the Church and
plead with them not to follow the fashions and customs of the world, not
to partake of a spirit of rebellion, not to forsake the paths of truth
and virtue. We believe in their fundamental goodness and expect them to
become pillars of righteousness and to carry on the work of the Church
with increasing faith and effectiveness. Our
young people are among the most blessed and favored of our Father’s
children. They are the nobility of heaven, a choice and chosen
generation who have a divine destiny. Their spirits have been reserved
to come forth in this day when the gospel is on earth, and when the Lord
needs valiant servants to carry on his great latter-day work.
We
must prepare [children] to be living witnesses of the truth and
divinity of this great latter-day work, and particularly in the case of
our sons, see that they are worthy and qualified to go on missions to
preach the gospel to our Father’s other children.
Are
you training [your children] so that when they are married they will
want to go to the house of the Lord? Are you teaching them so that they
will want to receive the great endowment which the Lord has in store for
them? Have you impressed upon them the fact that they can be sealed as
husbands and wives and have bestowed upon them every gift and every
blessing that pertains to the celestial kingdom?
We
must … so guide and lead [children] that they will choose proper
companions and marry in the house of the Lord and thus become inheritors
of all the great blessings of which we have been talking.
Let us try
humbly to keep our families intact, to keep them under the influence of
the Spirit of the Lord, trained in the principles of the gospel that
they may grow up in righteousness and truth. … [Children] are given unto
us that we might train them in the ways of life, eternal life, that
they might come back again into the presence of God, their Father."
So obviously I have to work on a lot of things. So starting this Monday since Alin no longer works nights, we are starting family home evening again. As well as I will work on a lot of things to make our home a heaven on earth and that includes working on a lot of personal goals.
Home fed the kids quickly and put them down to nap so we could get ready for the barbeque. The barbeque was fun and it was great to visit with everyone. Mahdi, Menon, and Kevan as well as Mario, Suzanne, and baby Malid who is growing like a weed. Food was good and lots of laughs.
